Jul 31, 2026 · Beards of War
We Watched It So You Don’t Have To: Masters of the Universe (2026)
The Beards mustered for Masters of the Universe — 2026’s run at the He-Man legend — hoping to relive a little 1984. A cast full of big names showed up, and it did not help. Between the tone swings, jokes landing at…
Combat veterans. Cinematic opinions. No safe takes.
The Beards mustered for Masters of the Universe — 2026’s run at the He-Man legend — hoping to relive a little 1984. A cast full of big names showed up, and it did not help. Between the tone swings, jokes landing at every character’s expense, and a two-hour-twenty fantasy epic that still managed to be boring, the power of Grayskull never made it to the screen. The crew counted exactly one laugh in the whole film, and it belonged to Cringer.
Film: Masters of the Universe (2026), PG-13, 2h 20m
Director: Travis Knight
Genre: Action · Adventure · Fantasy
IMDb rating: 6.6/10 (81K votes)
The Beards’ verdict: Skip it
The verdict
We watched it so you don’t have to. Skip this one. If the nostalgia itch needs scratching, the crew’s actual recommendation is Masters of the Universe: Revelation on Netflix — animated, well done, and a better use of your evening.
On the mics
Thick Nick Fury
Host
Fat Broken Rambo
Host